| I’m not quite sure when I developed the ability to link memories with emotions, but assume I was around the age of three. By around sixteen I had prefected the technique and much of my life after that has been spent try to lose this ability.
I’m not exactly sure what Pink Floyd meant by their song comfortably numb, but I assume much like most of their work it has a deeper meaning. I on the other hand am frequently numb, with little ability or know how of how to add the adjective comfortably into the equation. I’m not quite sure if my life is composed of a quest for numbness or a retreat to it's recharging arms to give me the ability to feel again. It is somewhat of contradiction to live in numbness, since I would assume this is not living at all. Numbness brings with it the side effects of nothing and emptiness a far cry I would say from the pursuit of happiness which is of course the American dream. I once again on the other hand am not American nor in the pursuit of happiness, in fact I’m not quite sure if the country I’m from has any dreams to follow. Is it their absence that leaves me in this limbo existence or is it other forces that drive me too. I guess a mixture of both.
The pressures of life can be excessive for most of us and without motivators we often stagnate but where do we find motivators, I know my job is mindless and my social circumstances offer little consolation. My feelings lead to numbness and numbness becoming my feelings.
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